I just got my driver's license in the mail and it says my new name and M and I look handsome in it. Woo!
I had a gig at Smith College last night. It was kinda anti-climactic. I expected a lot of people but it was actually pretty low key. Whatever, it was a paid gig so it's fine. And the Smithies seem to dig my music.
Ok so I'm not gonna give too much detail but I've had some run-ins with this person that involve medical questions. I have things to say about that if it's someone I don't care for, but I've never thought of what to do with that stuff when it's coming from someone who's really sweet, genuine, well-meaning, and open-minded. I could've done better getting the point across that there is more to being trans than hormones or "a sex change," but I did pretty well considering how off-guard this person caught me.
By the way I feel like talking about medical transition as soon as someone tells you they're trans is kinda like asking a person about their sex life as soon as they tell you they're gay. Also I should really start using the word "transgender" more. "Trans" doesn't mean anything to someone who doesn't know about that stuff.
So anyway you know how I'm all into being picky about who I hang out with and I'm always talking about how people with privileges "don't get it" and that it's tiring to be around them? I'm always saying things like "the next person who calls me she gets a punch in the face," "there's no excuse for ignorance" and stuff like that. I'm usually impatient about ignorance, and my point of view is that people should be responsible for educating themselves so that they make everybody else feel comfortable and equal. Well this person just challenged the shit out of that view. Cuz she's really cool! (ok fine, she. I tried my best to be vague)
Sarah said that ignorance isn't the worst, it's the combination of ignorance and stubbornness, and people who annoy me are the ones who try to argue their bigoted opinions with me. And this person wasn't doing that, she was willing to listen to my sad attempts at correcting her.
So my conclusion: Maybe I shouldn't be so afraid of people from outside of my radical bubble. Otherwise I'd not only be missing the teaching moments, but missing out on people who I might end up getting along with just fine. I should still take good care of myself and be around like-minded people when I can, because we queers work a bit differently, and it's important to be in a space where I can speak my mind with little censoring. For example, a straight person won't understand that the reason I make so many references to being trans or queer is because that's what determines most of my experience. So I hold back a little. Also being misunderstood and having to constantly explain my identity is exhausting and will burn me out. But I think I can learn to both enjoy the company of, and enlighten, people outside of the queer community.
After all, it's not their fault they're like that ;-)
